...silly na..dhat ;)

m gettin bored..this line reminds of sumone close to me..but then IT is d state of my mind..

m gettin very very bored..i jus dunno wat to do..i hav nothin to do..i can go off to sleep n sleep for hours together...cuz I LOVE SLEEPIN but i'm not feelin sleepy..

infact m tired..but m not feelin sleepy..m feelin sad..very sad..n again i dunno y..- silly na!!!..dhat ;)

i seriusly want to cry..big time..but m unable to cry..its strange..cuz i cry easily (though few mite disagree) but that's not the problem..d problem is dat I want to cry.. Y cant i break all ties wid few people..?? y do they bounce back wen needed least n vanish wen needed most??y cant i jus erase few episodes of my life wid a "delete" button??y cant i jus luk at d brighter side of evrythin n evrytime??y dun i hav reasons to d way i feel at times ( or perhaps most of d time)?? n i dunno..so i want to cry..perhaps dat wud wipe out sum of my silly thots!!!!!
but its not easy..infact rite now i feel its not easy..

Y m i repeating it again n again...?? wat reasons do i hav??

m into a gud job (hope my boss reads it ;), a comfortable life..mum dad here to take care of me..i earn to spend on myself..no responsibilities (monetory only ;),no possessive boy frend..loads of frenz...(though hardly here in ahmdabad )...i jus dont know how my time passes by..

but...still every mornin i luk forward to ANOTHER day..n not the present day!!! n dats SAD..!!

my colleague finds me a workaholic n earlier i used to deny it..but now i agree wid her..its true..i jus need sumthin to do..somethin i njoyin doin.. mayb a way to jus keep myself buzy..cuz dats wat i have always been doin..doin sumthin or d other..n then sleep..aahhaa.. ;)

My folks r (seriusly ) lukin for a match..n m not bothered..i dun hav any preferences..n still i say no to guys they select..cuz i dunno..earlier i thot its cuz m commitmnt phobic..but i guess m not... m jus scared of being hurt..which we all are..but at d same time,we dun stop lovin..n livin..but then nor hav i stopped lovin n livin..!!!..comin out of one relationship n fallin into another is not wat i want..facin situation is not D ONLY solution everytime..sumtimes runnin away is a gud alternative as well ;)
..i know this all makes no sense but jus hav a habit of "enlightenin" my readers ;)

and another problem wid me is dat i get bored easily - back to line one ;)

the other day i told mum dat i need a break..she asked..."from what??" n i dint hav any answer...its not my job dat i want a break from-atleast not in dis recession period ;) .. its not my boyfrend .. its not my folks ..but its ME!!!

woh kehte hai na.. "khud ko dhoondne jaana hai "... somethin of dat sort..lolz..

no its not even dat...!! i know wat kind of person i am .. wat i want ( or rather wanted) from my life n wat i hav finally got so its not for SELF REALISATION dat i want a break for..

cuz m lost..m bored n m sad..(add VERY ) ... !!!

i'll tell u sumthin.. i want to pack my bag ( jus a rucksack ), get my ticket done n leave for north India...ahead of Srinagar...alone or perhaps wid sum1 who dusnt know me dat well...jus me n her/ him..for a week..i hav everythin planned n set..all i need is permission from my folks..which m not gettin..atleast till FEB..so this plan WILL materialise in March most probably...

to b honest..i dont know wat will happen in 2009 (as if u know ;) but wat i mean is dat i dont hav my life planned AT ALL..

I mite change my job..mite stick to this one..mite shift to another city..mite stay here..mite get married..mite get ngagd..mite remain single.. - so nuthin is planned cuz i hav left it ALL on God n my parents ( i hav better things to do ;)

i dunno y m writin this..n infact writin ALL this..one thing is for sure..if i dun tek dat break..soon..i''l go mad..
n yeah..stretch ur hand n touch..
...not d sky..but ur own self :)